Independent woman

large-5198How often have you heard someone speak about being independent? or Being an independent woman?

Females, what are your thoughts on being an independent woman?

Since the day women became more empowered to stand alone and in high places and prove themselves worthy of being equal on the gender scale the “independent woman” has come a long way. However, it is sad to say that in many cases, the ideal has been misused and confused.

Speak to more than one man or woman and see how their views on what makes an independent woman differ. I myself have been pondering on this and new developments in my relationship have sparked a new light on the topic; it really had me thinking about how women believe independence should be. I’m not going to say there is a wrong and right way, everyone is entitled to their opinions but take some time to understand where I’m coming from.

Firstly, we need to understand the meanings of the word independent:

  • Free from outside control; not subject to another’s authority.
  • Not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence.
  • Not depending on someone else for strength or effectiveness; free standing.

Understanding this, we can now apply this to the life of us women, those that deem themselves or would like to be seen as independent.

Does being an independent woman mean being single?

Too many people believe that in order to be independent you must be out of a relationship; it means being single and being able to take care of yourself/do it on your own. Well I’m here to make some adjustments.

Being independent does not mean being single!

I’m not sure where it came from and I won’t be trying to find the source. But, yes! being on your own and handling your stories not requiring the help of others especially a male, is being an independent woman. However, whether you’re a girlfriend or wife or even still living under your parents roof, does not mean you can’t be an independent woman. There are different ways to be an independent woman no matter the situation.

Being in a relationship requires compromise, subordination on a female’s behalf and the sharing of support be it financial, spiritual or emotional. So how can one be independent here?? My sisters!! Being wife, especially, should NOT confine you to full dependence but, it doesn’t mean that you should be totally cut off from your partner and take on everything by yourself. Independence here simply means, even though he pays the bills and you take care of the kids or whatever the case may be, you are fully capable of doing it all if one day he loses his job or, God forbid, is out of the picture or just can’t handle it at one point. The same goes for the ones still living with their parents.

You should be able to take care of yourself and a household, do everyday chores and even manual labor that is often looked upon as a man’s job. Have your own savings and assets, be self-motivated, have good self esteem and be mentally, emotionally and spiritually strong. Don’t wait for him to buy you something nice or give you money to go shopping, you take yourself out!

Make yourself happy and share that happiness with others! It is this ability that makes us women the backbone of households and bearers of great strength. We need not be dependent on someone else for these things once we are old enough to understand the way things go.

It bothers me when a woman is unable to change a flat tire, take basic care of her car (not just keeping it clean but checking the oil levels, filling up the radiator etc), do yard work or fix little issues around the house. We should be willing to learn a simple trade, be interested and learn from daddy, brother or your partner when they are tackling things here and there.

Stop telling yourself that it’s not your job because many of us get offended when a male says we are meant to be in the kitchen and look after the kids.

Young girls, even though your parents look after you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to wash your own clothes, clean the house or cook a meal. It disgusts me to hear young women say they don’t know how to cook or that they simply don’t do chores. Really?! Becoming an independent woman starts from this stage.

This goes for males also but I am reaching out to all females out there no matter the age. We need to stop and think, single or taken, whatever the situation we must all be able to call ourselves independent women. If he leaves or you go off to university/college or some other situation arises, you shouldn’t have cause to hold your head and cry hysterically.

According to Jamie Fox,

There’s nothing that’s more sexy than a girl that want but don’t NEED me

Let’s get it right ladies!

Fellow independent woman,

Impartial Me ❤




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